So I'm doing under the sinks, my pantry, garage and the second garage that is full of boxes still.. It needs to be done and if I follow my plan of doing a little every day I will get through it..
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Crazy
I am going crazy with getting rid of stuff.. I have been going through everything under my bathroom sinks since there is no room to put anything else!! I found things that have not been used since we moved here 2 1/2 years ago.. I'm tossing it all.. Some have expiration dates and some don't.. but I know all of it is old and I don't want to put that on my skin or hair..
So I'm doing under the sinks, my pantry, garage and the second garage that is full of boxes still.. It needs to be done and if I follow my plan of doing a little every day I will get through it..
When I sold my house years ago.. I had so much stuff. My ex left a ton of stuff.. asked me to keep it for him and then refused to take it when I was ready to move.. I think we were all packrats.. plus I had all kinds of things stored for my preschool.. I spent a year going through things an hour or two at a time every week. I would put everything out in the carport and then Peter would come over and haul it all away on the weekend.. That was very cleansing for me.. I've moved twice since then and still have things to get rid of even though with each move I've tried to go through things.. On our last move we had very little time to do anything except for big items and clothes we gave to charity so it all got moved here.. and that's why I have a single car garage full of stuff.. some I will want to keep.. but there is so much I can do without. Maybe I've been watching too many shows of Hoarders.. I just never want to be like that.. Peter is good.. he likes to do what he calls editing.. I'm getting that way too..
So I'm doing under the sinks, my pantry, garage and the second garage that is full of boxes still.. It needs to be done and if I follow my plan of doing a little every day I will get through it..
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Comedy??
My stepson does stand up comedy and is going to be performing this week at an open mic night. A few friends want to come plus we need to know where the place is for ourselves.. of course the little rascal who is almost 21 doesn't drive so we will be taking him.. would be nice to go to the right address. He had yesterday off from work. He was still in his room at 1 PM.. so I emailed him the link I found and asked if that was right.. didn't get back to me.. later I see him downstairs and he said he didn't see the email. I asked him to please look at it and get back to me.. nothing.. then about 5 I go in his room.. he has on headphones and listening to something on the computer.. kind of half asleep. I asked him again and he said.. oh yeah I think so.. I said I need to know for sure.. ok.. and nothing else from him.
I made dinner and it had shrimp in it so it was something that had to be put together at the last minute and couldn't be sitting and cooking forever.. We usually eat about the same time every night and everyone knows that. The only difference is if Peter is late.. but then I usually feed Max and Peter can eat when he is ready.. lately Max says he wants to wait and we can eat together.. which is something I like.. Max came downstairs at the right time.. then Peter came down.. he said he told Shelby dinner was ready.. so after I fixed our plates and we all sat down, Shelby shows up.. this was 15 to 20 minutes later.. I was a bit ticked.. Peter knew it and jumped up and fixed Shelby's plate.. He probably could have done it himself but I really don't want him touching all the food that someone else might eat..
I told him why the two things bothered me.. he just sat there and stared at the floor.. All Peter could say is he should have told him dinner was ready earlier.. I don't think that needs to be done.. he's an adult.. He works most evenings so I make him a plate and put it in the fridge for when he gets home. And on days when he is off I usually just fix the plate and if he doesn't come down it will get cold and that's his problem.. sometimes I feel like a short order cook.. Maybe I'm being too hard headed about this.. I always make sure the boys have what they need.. Like I posted before I have started washing their bedding and making their beds each week.. I washed all of Shelby's clothes because they were gross and I knew he wasn't going to wash them.. I've been ironing his shirts.. I didn't tell either of them why I was doing it.. and if they noticed they haven't said a word to me about it.. I don't think it's too much to ask for some consideration.. After some prodding he finally said he was sorry.. but it wasn't heartfelt.. he did empty the dishwasher yesterday and acted like he should get a medal for it.. I did tell him thank you and I've never made that a job for the boys.. so when they do it it's a treat for me. So far this month he's been home has been pretty good.. I've overlooked things and figured it wasn't worth the fight..
I know kids will be kids but it's hard to take when I ask very little of them and they just don't do it.. they even have to be reminded to brush their teeth. Last night I asked Peter to "remind" Shelby to take a shower before bed (because as far as I know he rarely takes one.. hence the smell in his room!) and not stay up all night.. he said he was going to shower in the morning.. did he? No and I don't think either one of them brushed their teeth. And Shelby stayed up really late and then had to be at work by 7:30 today.
I will be so happy when this school year is over.. One more year of college for Shelby and then he will have to be figuring out what he wants to do in life.. Not sure about Max.. he can't seem to decide what to do. His mom keeps telling him to come back to Oregon to live with her.. who knows he may do that.. I know my husband wouldn't like it.. I'm neutral on it.. it would be the same as going away to school.. Shelby has talked about moving someplace where he can get into stand up.. not sure where that would be.. I hope it works out for him.. Four more months or so and school will be out.. Yay!
I made dinner and it had shrimp in it so it was something that had to be put together at the last minute and couldn't be sitting and cooking forever.. We usually eat about the same time every night and everyone knows that. The only difference is if Peter is late.. but then I usually feed Max and Peter can eat when he is ready.. lately Max says he wants to wait and we can eat together.. which is something I like.. Max came downstairs at the right time.. then Peter came down.. he said he told Shelby dinner was ready.. so after I fixed our plates and we all sat down, Shelby shows up.. this was 15 to 20 minutes later.. I was a bit ticked.. Peter knew it and jumped up and fixed Shelby's plate.. He probably could have done it himself but I really don't want him touching all the food that someone else might eat..
I told him why the two things bothered me.. he just sat there and stared at the floor.. All Peter could say is he should have told him dinner was ready earlier.. I don't think that needs to be done.. he's an adult.. He works most evenings so I make him a plate and put it in the fridge for when he gets home. And on days when he is off I usually just fix the plate and if he doesn't come down it will get cold and that's his problem.. sometimes I feel like a short order cook.. Maybe I'm being too hard headed about this.. I always make sure the boys have what they need.. Like I posted before I have started washing their bedding and making their beds each week.. I washed all of Shelby's clothes because they were gross and I knew he wasn't going to wash them.. I've been ironing his shirts.. I didn't tell either of them why I was doing it.. and if they noticed they haven't said a word to me about it.. I don't think it's too much to ask for some consideration.. After some prodding he finally said he was sorry.. but it wasn't heartfelt.. he did empty the dishwasher yesterday and acted like he should get a medal for it.. I did tell him thank you and I've never made that a job for the boys.. so when they do it it's a treat for me. So far this month he's been home has been pretty good.. I've overlooked things and figured it wasn't worth the fight..
I know kids will be kids but it's hard to take when I ask very little of them and they just don't do it.. they even have to be reminded to brush their teeth. Last night I asked Peter to "remind" Shelby to take a shower before bed (because as far as I know he rarely takes one.. hence the smell in his room!) and not stay up all night.. he said he was going to shower in the morning.. did he? No and I don't think either one of them brushed their teeth. And Shelby stayed up really late and then had to be at work by 7:30 today.
Friday, January 6, 2012
Tomorrow, tomorrow I love you tomorrow you're only a day away!
Tomorrow is both sweet and sad for me.. Tomorrow is my husband's birthday.. we are going to celebrate with a few presents.. nothing big.. some framed photos for his office of the kids.. a cherry cheese cake.. then later we are going with friends to a jazz club he's been wanting to go to for months..
The sad part is that on the 7th in 2008 my ex-husband took his life.. this is not a fun post.. and if you don't want details stop reading.. None of us could see this coming.. he and I were not close after our divorce in 97. He and the kids had a very strained relationship.. he blamed me but they were older and they knew what he was like. I never talked badly about him even though he thought I did.. I encouraged the kids to see him.. the girls were older and there was no visitation order.. my son had a visitation order but Dad rarely showed up to get him.. I would have to call each month to set up dates for them to get together.. and even then he didn't show up. My son was very angered by it.. and I don't blame him.. In our divorce hearing the judge asked why he needed a two bedroom apartment and he said because he needed a room for his son.. never happened.. that room was his office and storage room.. Adam slept on the couch with only a blanket.. Dana said he could sleep in bed with him but he said no.. so he slept on the couch with a pillow from his dad's bed and an old blanket.. no wonder he didn't want to go..
At some point.. maybe at 17 or 18 Adam said he would visit but not stay overnight.. There was no fight in that.. Maybe Dana was relieved.. He should have spent much more time with the kids but he didn't. When Paige was getting married, Dana and his wife wanted to run the show but didn't want to contribute at all.. wanted to host events that I was not invited to.. Then Dana said he wasn't coming to the wedding because my husband would be involved and why not.. Paige and Peter had a relationship and he paid a lot for the wedding.. Dana and his wife didn't attend.. his family did and I'm so grateful for that and their support.
There is so much more to say about this but too much for one post.. at the end Erin and Adam were getting together with him but on their terms.. everything seemed to be going well.. and then on January 7th, 2008 we got the call that he was dead.. I will never forget hearing my girls crying and wailing on the phone and the anger in my son's voice.. I cried too.. for them and for him..
Of course we don't know the whole story.. his wife won't let anyone know what his last words were in the note.. but he drove down to a place by the river.. walked down a path.. spread out a blanket the two of us bought in Mexico.. and shot himself.. I cannot even imagine the pain he was in to do that.. There was a viewing.. I couldn't go.. it was too much for me.. I should have gone to support my children.. I was not invited to the funeral and told not to come but I went.. sat in the back with my brother and some friends.. I should have been brave and gone to the front and sat with my children.. It was like I was erased and the children were hers.. His family all sat with me at the reception.. and I know that irked his wife.. it was not my choice.. His mother called me the queen surrounded by her family.. believe me that did not go over well either..
People have asked if he knew it was my husband's birthday and I say yes.. others don't agree.. but he was very calculating.. I believe he knew and it was his last thing to say to me.. sad but true..
It's a sad thing to attach to my husband's birthday.. I will be forever connected with Dana.. we were married 21 years.. and have 3 children.. We wrote notes to him and burned them sending the smoke to heaven.. hoping he would know how we all felt.. I hope he has peace now.. and I hope the rest of us can too.. When I mentioned the date thing to my husband last night.. he said that if he did it on purpose because he knew it was Peter's birthday it might have been a positive thing.. that he was letting me go.. that he admired Peter and wanted us to be happy.. I hope that is the case.
The sad part is that on the 7th in 2008 my ex-husband took his life.. this is not a fun post.. and if you don't want details stop reading.. None of us could see this coming.. he and I were not close after our divorce in 97. He and the kids had a very strained relationship.. he blamed me but they were older and they knew what he was like. I never talked badly about him even though he thought I did.. I encouraged the kids to see him.. the girls were older and there was no visitation order.. my son had a visitation order but Dad rarely showed up to get him.. I would have to call each month to set up dates for them to get together.. and even then he didn't show up. My son was very angered by it.. and I don't blame him.. In our divorce hearing the judge asked why he needed a two bedroom apartment and he said because he needed a room for his son.. never happened.. that room was his office and storage room.. Adam slept on the couch with only a blanket.. Dana said he could sleep in bed with him but he said no.. so he slept on the couch with a pillow from his dad's bed and an old blanket.. no wonder he didn't want to go..
At some point.. maybe at 17 or 18 Adam said he would visit but not stay overnight.. There was no fight in that.. Maybe Dana was relieved.. He should have spent much more time with the kids but he didn't. When Paige was getting married, Dana and his wife wanted to run the show but didn't want to contribute at all.. wanted to host events that I was not invited to.. Then Dana said he wasn't coming to the wedding because my husband would be involved and why not.. Paige and Peter had a relationship and he paid a lot for the wedding.. Dana and his wife didn't attend.. his family did and I'm so grateful for that and their support.
There is so much more to say about this but too much for one post.. at the end Erin and Adam were getting together with him but on their terms.. everything seemed to be going well.. and then on January 7th, 2008 we got the call that he was dead.. I will never forget hearing my girls crying and wailing on the phone and the anger in my son's voice.. I cried too.. for them and for him..
Of course we don't know the whole story.. his wife won't let anyone know what his last words were in the note.. but he drove down to a place by the river.. walked down a path.. spread out a blanket the two of us bought in Mexico.. and shot himself.. I cannot even imagine the pain he was in to do that.. There was a viewing.. I couldn't go.. it was too much for me.. I should have gone to support my children.. I was not invited to the funeral and told not to come but I went.. sat in the back with my brother and some friends.. I should have been brave and gone to the front and sat with my children.. It was like I was erased and the children were hers.. His family all sat with me at the reception.. and I know that irked his wife.. it was not my choice.. His mother called me the queen surrounded by her family.. believe me that did not go over well either..
People have asked if he knew it was my husband's birthday and I say yes.. others don't agree.. but he was very calculating.. I believe he knew and it was his last thing to say to me.. sad but true..
Monday, January 2, 2012
Sunday, January 1, 2012
Happy New Year
We had a fun dinner with friends.. it was early but that was ok.. We didn't make it to midnight but that's ok too!! Just a fun night all around. I was in the shower and the door opened and my husband handed me a glass of champagne.. how cool is that? We went here for dinner http://www.legendsatthenorthshore.com/
Doesn't look like much on the outside but very warm and cozy inside.. and GREAT food. That's what I love about Pittsburgh.. so many little spots that look like nothing but are spectacular!
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